Do It! Marketing Blog: Marketing for Smart People™

If you'd like to do better in your business... this post is for you.

If you're down in the dumps - no money, no clients, no prospects, no hope... this post is for you.

If you're doing great - and not sure exactly why or how long this "lucky streak" will last - this post is DEFINITELY for you...

There's a dirty word in business, especially among authors, speakers, and experts who, above all, feel that they should serve as shining examples of personal success and professional prosperity.

That word is shame. 

It's easy to feel shame when your business is doing poorly. I'm not saying that it's RIGHT - but it sure is easy. 

And yes, it's painful, negative, and unpleasant to feel shame. But perhaps there's an upside to that because it makes you feel uncomfortable to feel unsuccessful. 

At least THAT part makes sense. 

There's another kind of shame that is more pernicious, dangerous and much more common than you might think. 

It's the shame of success.

It's when you juuuuust start to break through... when your business juuuuust starts to take off... when the money juuuuust starts to flow abundantly. 

You're not only paying your bills, you're paying off debt (credit cards, home equity line, etc.), you're building up your savings, your rainy day fund is healthy, you're paying yourself regularly, you are even... GASP... putting away some nice money for retirement and/or your kids' college fund.

The it hits you... The Shame of Success. It's a little voice in your head.

You know what I'm talking about. I'll bet you even know what it's saying to you. Things like: 

• This won't last - it's just a lucky streak...
• You're one step away from being broke again...
• Don't count your eggs before they hatch...
• You're not that good...
• You're not that smart...
• You can't even handle this much client work
• You're going to blow through all this cash and be back at Square 1...
• Your clients will find you out...
• Your friends won't like your new level of success...
• Better not tell anyone about this success, they'll be jealous...
• They'll think you're lying...
• They'll think you're bragging...
• They'll feel bad that they're not doing as well as you... 

And on, and on, and on. 

Please... stop the madness. Kill that voice. Catch yourself every time you hear it and tell it to go take a hike. Refocus. Recenter. 

Remember once and for all - there is no shame in your success. 

If you have REAL friends, they'll celebrate with you. 

If you have friends who don't... guess what? They're not your real friends. 

If misery loves company, it has company enough. 

And it's time you quit that company.

You know who REALLY loves company? 

• Passion loves company
• Achievers love company
• Winners love company
• Success loves company

There are already way too many people and circumstances that make you feel weak, unworthy, and unsuccessful... they do NOT need your help!

FACT: You TOTALLY deserve to be successful.

FACT: This is ABSOLUTELY your time to crush it. 

FACT: YOU ROCK so hard, you don't even know it. 

FACT: You are insanely GREAT.

FACT: You ARE fabulously successful - so KEEP GOING!!!

In the immortal words of the great Zig Ziglar, "I'll see you at the top!" 

What do you think? Please leave a COMMENT below and let's hear YOUR advice, insights and recommendations on how not to get bushwhacked by the "shame of success."

Avish Parashar has just released a new book titled, "Say Yes, And!" and he has a great special offer for people who buy the book by midnight tonight, Feb. 28.  

The book takes a fundamental principle from improv comedy - saying "yes, and" instead of "yes, but" - and shows you how that one simple idea can help you improve your career, your business, your relationships, and your life.  

As a special promotion, if you buy the book today, February 28th, you'll get access to over $200 in free gifts, including PDF versions of two of Avish's other books and over 8 hours of MP3 recordings of some of Avish's most popular audio programs. That's over $200 in gifts in return for buying a $12.95 book.  

To get the book and the free gifts, visit http://www.SayYesAnd.com

p.s. Here's my review from amazon.com:

First I have to tell you - I'm a business book junkie. I read 'em all. Big ones, little ones, famous ones, and hidden gems. All topics including sales, marketing, leadership, strategy, the how-to, the what-to, and the why-to kind.

And this books stands out.

Plain and simple, Avish Parashar packages essential wisdom, insights, and practical advice into a small concentrated form factor.

But don't be fooled - this is life-changing stuff.

One small turn in what you think and what you say CAN and WILL make a huge impact. Example after example pours out of this book and will soon spark ideas and memories in your own mind of times you took charge and created success - and other times when you chose the "Yes but" path and created your own obstacles, limits, and barriers.

Whether you are a business owner, corporate executive, sales professional, association executive, or non-profit leader, this book is for YOU. Filled with immediately actionable insights and concrete take-aways, this little book may trigger the biggest and best changes your team, your organization, and your results will ever experience.

Tell you what - STOP reading Amazon reviews of this great little book, say "YES AND I'll buy it right now." In fact, you may want to buy three - one for yourself, one for your boss, and one for the significant other in your life. Yes (and) the ideas in this book work as powerfully at home as they do at work!!

A famous trapeze artist was instructing his students how to perform on the high trapeze bar. Finally, having given full explanations and instruction in this skill, he told them to demonstrate their ability.

One student, looking up at the insecure perch upon which he must perform, was suddenly, filled with fear. He froze completely. He had a terrifying vision of himself falling to the ground. He couldn’t move a muscle, so deep was his fright. “I can’t do it! I can’t do it!” he gasped.

The instructor put his arm around the boy’s shoulder and said, “Son, you can do it, and I will tell you how.” Then he made a statement, which is of inestimable importance. It is one of the wisest remarks I have ever heard. He said, “Throw your heart over the bar and your body will follow.”

Heart is the symbol of creative activity. Fire the heart with where you want to go and what you want to be. Get it so deeply fixed in your unconscious that you will not take no for an answer, then your entire personality will follow where your heart leads.

“Throw your heart over the bar” means to throw your faith over your difficulty, throw your affirmation over every barrier, throw your visualization over your obstacles. In other words, throw the spiritual essence of you over the bar and your material self will follow in the victory groove thus pioneered by your faith‐inspired mind.

Expect the best, not the worst, and you will attain your heart’s desire. It is what is in the heart of you, either good or bad, strong or weak, that finally comes to you. Emerson said, “Beware of what you want, for you will get it.”

Excerpted from BLAINE LEE, THE POWER PRINCIPLE, SIMON & SCHUSTER

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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
-- Will Rogers

To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Trying to solve problems or find answers with the same set of information that got us "into this mess" in the first place indicates one of several things:

1. We are dangerously insane.
2. We are incredibly irresponsible.
3. We are sadly unaware of our own trailblazing and "off the charts" navigation capabilities.

What only a handful of very successful individuals realize is that, in fact, the current landscape, as perceived by others, is irrelevant as far as you're concerned.

One of the most powerful tools you have is self-knowledge. In the simplest terms, this comes down to answering these basic questions:
* Who am I?
* What am I all about?
* What do I love to do?
* Who do I want to be?
* What's the best way for me to get there?
* Where would I like the journey to take me?

Spend a few moments completing the following. Yes, you! Yes, right now.

Find a pencil. I'll wait...

Good. Here we go...

Exercise: List 10 things you LOVE to do. Any context is fine. Use your personal life, professional life, with your family, friends, civic and church groups, anything:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Now review your list and summarize each of these ten items
into a 1-word VERB, such as "communicate" or "connect" or
"share."

These are ten of your core action words that define you at
your best.

How can you bring more opportunities to use these actions
into your life? In answering this question, please remember
that even a small change can have a huge impact.

You don't need to quit your job in an office in New York
and move to a kibbutz in Israel if one of your key words
turned out to be "share."

Why don't you share some of what you know with your
colleagues? Teach a class, write an article, start a
discussion group, create a lunchtime seminar series, or
start an interactive message board on your corporate
intranet?

So many people are unhappy because the opportunities to use these core actions have evaporated from their lives or have become blocked by schedules filled with "too much to do" and "never enough time."

But stop and ask yourself, "How effective is my mind if my heart and soul are starving?" And if you don't take care of them, who will?

THIS is your real work for 2010 - enjoy the ride!

"If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"
-- Will Rogers

"To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Trying to solve problems or find answers with the same set of information that got us "into this mess" in the first place indicates one of several things:

1. We are dangerously insane.
2. We are incredibly irresponsible.
3. We are sadly unaware of our own trailblazing and "off the charts" navigation capabilities.

What only a handful of very successful individuals realize is that, in fact, the current landscape, as perceived by others, is irrelevant as far as you're concerned.

One of the most powerful tools you have is self-knowledge. In the simplest terms, this comes down to answering these basic questions:

• Who am I?
• What am I all about?
• What do I love to do?
• Who do I want to be?
• What's the best way for me to get there?
• Where would I like the journey to take me?

Spend a few moments completing the following. Yes, you! Yes, right now. Find a pencil. I'll wait...

Good. Here we go...

Exercise: List 10 things you LOVE to do. Any context is fine. Use your personal life, professional life, with your family, friends, civic and church groups, anything:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Now review your list and summarize each of these ten items into a 1-word VERB, such as "teach" or "analyze" or "cultivate"

These are ten of your core action words that define you at your best.

How can you bring more opportunities to use these actions into your life? In answering this question, please remember that even a small change can have a huge impact.

You don't need to quit your job in an office in New York and move to a kibbutz in Israel if one of your key words turned out to be "share."

Why don't you share some of what you know with your colleagues? Teach a class, write an article, start a discussion group, create a lunchtime seminar series, or start an interactive message board on your corporate intranet?

So many small business owners are unhappy because the opportunities to use these core actions have evaporated from their lives or have become blocked by schedules filled with "too much to do" and "never enough time."

But stop and ask yourself, "How effective is my mind if my heart and soul are starving?"

And if you don't take care of them, who will?

What have your experiences been in this arena? Please leave a comment below and let's keep the discussion going...